Steak Knives

Now that I watch my cholesterol, as well as my budget, I don’t see much steak on the grill anymore. The good news is that I’ve discovered a dozen other uses for that eight-piece set of serrated-blade steak knives in the back of the kitchen drawer. (Or maybe that set has dwindled to only three.)

1. By carefully manipulating the tip, they are great for untangling shoelaces that have become knotted. If the knot won’t let go, just saw the laces apart.

2. Depending on the style, steak knives can be used to pry up blobs of paint from the last craft project off the concrete floor of the garage.

3. Can’t find the scissors to nip off the bottoms of the zinnias for a flower arrangement? Steak knife to the rescue. Use a cutting board to stabilize the stem, not your thumb. (Or just pre-apply several adhesive bandages to save time.)

4. Steak knives can be quite handy when tightening a cabinet knob. Some steak knives tend to snap, so discard those with broken blades. (I think that’s where number eight went.)

5. When things get stuck in things, you may be able to pry them out with a steak knife.

6. Steak knives can be used to mix things, like small amounts of concrete patch in plastic cups. Just don’t leave to answer the phone, do a load of laundry, then read the mail. Concrete patch hardens rather quickly. (Buebye number seven.)

7. When the bottom of your fry pan gets burned-on black stuff, give it a scrape with your trusty steak knife. If the black stuff won’t come off, hide the fry pan.

8. Sometimes you can poke loose yucky stuff that gets stuck in the drain. Just don’t let go of the steak knife. (Bye bye number six, hello plumber.)

9. Steak knives are great to dig around in flower pots and cut loose soft roots. Caution: don’t use a lot of pressure to loosen plants from those flimsy six-pack containers. Remember, steak knives are sharp, skin is soft, and emergency room visits are very expensive.

10. You can use the tip of the knife to slowly let the air out of some inflatable mattresses. There’s a much faster way, but you don’t want to know it – it’s not worth patching the mattress.

11. Some steak knives can be used for bookmarks. If you have a lot of books, remember where you lay the book down. (That could explain the disappearance of number five – and that mystery from the library.)

12. Slender steak knives can be used to pry apart things that are stuck together, like uncancelled stamps from envelopes, transparent tape from gift wrap and siblings in a bubble-gum blowing contest.

And, yes, be sure to remember all that safety stuff about knives in general. Geeze, we’re all adults here and know the dangers. Now if you will excuse me, I have to go change an electrical outlet. Humm, I wonder where I left my steak knife?

© Copyright 2006 Suzzwords