Monday, April 17, 2006

New Year’s Resolution

I just made my New Year’s resolution. Okay, okay, so it’s a little late; I’ve been busy. Here it is: I am never, ever going to forward any more emails that contain not only instructions to forward them, but the number of friends to whom they have to be forwarded. Despite threats, I will risk losing friends, true love and the lottery.

If the emails have pictures of cute fuzzy animals or gurgling babies or Maxine-type characters wiggling and jiggling, I will hit the “Delete” button immediately and put the sender’s email address on every flashing, blinking and beckoning popup or popunder that appears on my monitor. If they contain cartoons of Maxine (one of my favorites), I will copy the carton to my hard drive, then delete the email.

Further, if the sender persists in sending me emails that require forwarding to 2,896 “friends,” I will subscribe them to newsletters from every major retailer and television channel. Repeat offenses will result in enrollment for newsletters from makers or vendors of personal products.

Now immediately forward the address of this blog (do not copy and paste into yet another email) to twelve friends who have freckles, nine who have at least one cat, and twenty-six who have gone outside in the last week. If you fail to send this in the next six seconds, your toenails will fall off, your car will leak oil and your kids will take up skydiving – naked.

© Copyright 2006 Suzzwords

4 comments:

  1. "If you fail to send this in the next six seconds, your toenails will fall off, your car will leak oil and your kids will take up skydiving – naked."


    Well!!!! At least now I know why all those weird things have been happening to me recently...;)"

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  2. Anonymous3:37 PM

    Why don't you just write mine name in the blog?

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  3. Yess! What you said....

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  4. How 'bout the ones telling you that "something good will happen 12 hours after you forward this to 40 people". Yea, right! I just love my delete key.

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