Friday, May 25, 2007

Speaking of Bathrooms

My blogging friend, Joy, over at The Joy of Six, had an interesting post, He’s in the ”Library” … Again, about time spent in the bathroom. While reading her words, I immediately became lost in memories of blissful hours spent in bubble baths and Calgon moisturizing beads.

I haven’t had a really nice, long soak for quite a while. One of the reasons is that my bathtub is only fourteen inches deep and a little over four feet long. I need longer and deeper. There also seems to be some sort of additional person attached to my body who has added way too many pounds. This poundage person has swelled my middle, hips and butt to an impressive expanse making it hard for me to get into and out of the tub. (Age has nothing to do with it so just be quiet.)

Getting in the tub is a real challenge. Before the poundage attachment, I would just hop in and sit down in a small sea of bubbles. Now I find that it’s more like launching a ship and there comes a point of no return as gravity takes over and the heaviest part of me aims for the lowest part of the tub. I learned, before giving up on baths altogether, not to fill the tub before getting in so I didn't create a lavender-scented mini-tsunami as the wake of my descent washed over the side and swirled around the tile floor.

Getting out of the tub required gymnastics and prayer. “Please God, let me haul out safely and I swear I will never feed this attached person another cookie.”

I have my fingers crossed that one day I will win one of those nifty “walk in” tubs and my desire to enjoy languid soaks will become a reality. Now if I can just convince this lumpy person to leave. Humm. Maybe I can just lure it off with a some Hershey's Kisses.

© Copyright 2007 Suzzwords

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Mother’s Day Hints

What Not to Give Mom on Mother’s Day

10. Toaster

9. Can Opener

8. Ironing Board

7. Iron

6. Turtlewax

5. Laundry Basket

4. Dish Pan

3. Broom

2. Bucket for Mop

1. Mop

What to Give Mom on Mother’s Day

1. Flowers

1. Chocolate

1. Dinner Out (Not Burger King)

1. Movie and Dinner Out

1. Car Detailing

1. Day at the Spa

1. Gold or Pearl Earrings

1. Gift Certificate to Department Store (Not Walmart)

1. Diamonds

1. House Cleaning Service for a Year

© Copyright 2007 Suzzwords