Thursday, August 03, 2006

Hair-Raising Question

Ladies: have you noticed that as your eyesight wanes, the hairs on your chin begin to sprout more vigorously? What is it about face hair on men that is okay, but on women is totally unacceptable? Maybe we women have become the pawns of the fashion police and lured to spend zillions of dollars on hair-removal products.

I saw an ad the other day for a horrifying battery-propelled, hand-held gizmo that “gently removes hair at the root.” Yeah, right. That’s ad-speak for yanks those little stragglers from your flesh before you can faint. Okay, so now you have ripped the hair from your upper lip. What muffles the scream so your neighbors won’t think you have just discovered vermin lurking in your closet? If this gadget is all that great, why don’t men use it so they only have remove their face hair once a week?

To further promote the separation of our cash from our checkbooks, the ad even promised, “gentle enough to use in the bikini area.” Well, whoop-de-do. That’s an important consideration for we older ladies as we apply Ben Gay to our aching shoulder muscles or wipe the sweat from our brows at three a.m.

As for chin hair, I say if it was good enough for my grandmothers and my mother, it’s good enough for me. Well, maybe. Vanity still reigns. Okay, revise that. If I can see it, I’ll find a way to remove it. If someone else sees it and tells me (and they had better tell me), I’ll rush out and stock up on bleaching creams, waxes, chemical removers, and tweezers with an extra-wide gripping span to pluck several stragglers at once (scream follows).

Or maybe, as a way to avoid pain, not to mention the expense, I’ll just hang out with people whose eyesight is as bad or worse than mine. There, problem solved. Okay, everyone – glasses off ... now!

© Copyright 2006 Suzzwords

3 comments:

  1. Anonymous1:02 PM

    thank God I am not the only one with those stray chin hairs. Thank you for making me feel normal!

    M

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  2. After having cataract surgery in November, I was HORRIFIED by the number of wirey little strays on my chinny chin chin! I had cultivated a few in the nostrils as well. YIKES! My old foggy lenses had not allowed me to see the shoots. Unfortunately, not one person alerted me to the crop. Be a friend and tell your friends when they need to harvest those hairs. I wish someone had told me.

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  3. p. mona7:04 AM

    My solution for "finding" those hairs is to back the car out into the sun, pull down the mirror on the visor and NOW you can really see the stubble. My question is....How did my leg hairs get all the way up to my chin?

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