Tuesday, September 13, 2005

You Know it's time ...

You know it’s time to mop the kitchen floor when you leave the room and your sock stays.

You know it’s time to get a new shirt when a passerby says, “Hey, great retro threads, man.”

You know it’s time to spend less time on the computer when you try to “refresh” the TV screen.

You know it’s time to clean the refrigerator door when you can’t let go.

You know it’s time to vacuum the carpet when sprouts appear.

You know it’s time to clean your car windshield when the guy passing out flyers in the parking lot just slaps one on the glass over the gooey bugs.

You know it’s time to mow the lawn when the dog disappears … and it’s a great Dane.

You know it’s time to trim your ear hair when someone comments on your sideburns and you don’t have any.

You know it’s time for the kids to move out when their Social Security checks take up all the room in your tiny mailbox.

You know it’s time to take down the Christmas tree when all the needles have shed from the tree and it’s an artificial tree.

You know it’s time for the neighbor to crank up his new leaf blower when you have just settled down for your Saturday afternoon nap.

You know it’s time to think up – and contribute – one of these when you read this.

2 comments:

  1. Anonymous10:34 PM

    OK, I'll take that creative challenge!

    You know it’s time to do the dishes when only thing left in the cupboard is a mangled paper plate and a sticky packet of McDonald’s plastic utensils.

    You know it’s time to clean your computer screen when you keep trying to delete a speck of dust that looks like an exclamation point.

    You know it’s time for the rain to stop when the mushrooms in your garden grow taller than the azalea bushes.

    You know it’s time to start an exercise program when you get winded going up one floor…on an escalator.

    You know it’s time to vacuum when there’s enough cat hair collected under the bed to make two new cats.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous2:39 PM

    Love them all but especially the "sideburns".

    Love,
    M

    ReplyDelete