Tidy People

Tidy people are always ready for company to visit. We non-tidy people need a bit of time to tidy up, like a week.

Tidy people purse their lips together and then say, “A place for everything … ,” then clear their throats so your mother’s voice in your head can finish the sentence.

Non-tidy people have a place for everything, too, -- the floor, the bed, the couch, under the bed and the couch, the corner, and if we’re lucky, a spare room to stuff the big stuff.

Tidy people always know where everything is. We non-tidy people (oh, heck, just call us “NTP” to save typing time) know we have it somewhere, we just can’t lay our hands on it at this very minute so we go out and buy another.

Tidy people have matching pairs of things that come in pairs; socks, for example. We NTP buy all our socks in the same color and style, so what’s the big deal about matching?

Tidy people don’t have Wendy’s wrappers and drink containers on the floor of their cars. Yeah, so?

NTP are more adept at finding things and do very well when challenged because of our heightened awareness of what could be hiding under what. Our bodies are also more flexible, kept in shape by stretching to the top of the closet and bending and crawling around the bed to peer under the dust ruffle.

Tidy people line up their shoes by category (dress, casual, athletic), then by color. Same with the clothes. How in the world do they ever find anything to dress “creatively?” I bet they have never worn red tennies to a wedding.

Tidy people should not marry NTP. Drives ‘em both crazy. They can hang out together, then everyone needs to go home – their own home.

Hummm. I wonder what happens when tidy people do marry NTP and have children, if those children are now all the whiney kids you see on Dr. Phil?

I’d explore this psychological breakthrough longer, but I have to go look under the bed for my other sock.