How do those automatic faucets and flush toilets in public restrooms work? Yes, I know that when you “break the beam” they activate, but what powers the “beam.” Are they battery-operated, wind up like a clock or just magic? If they are battery-powered, does the housekeeping personnel now have to carry around pockets-full of AA Duracells? (Bet you never thought about that one did you?)
Does your heart really stop when you sneeze?
If an approaching weather front is called a “front,” why is the back not called a “back?” Or is it? If so, is it called a “front back?”
Why are Brussels sprouts not illegal?
Do kids of today still play hopscotch?
Are there piles and piles of hula hoops in a warehouse somewhere just waiting to make a comeback?
Where does the tide go when it goes out? Does it get dressed up or just go casual?
Just what does a “mean streak” look like on an x-ray? Is it anywhere near the “funny bone?”
After deciduous trees drop their leaves, do all the surrounding fir trees whistle? Is that where the expression “wind whistling through the trees” came from, only the trees are actually doing the whistling in the wind?
Who gives cars their silly names?
Have we reached the saturation point with challenge and reality televisions programs?
Over what domain does a drama queen reign?
Do dam-building beavers have taste preferences for particular trees? Is an elm more tasty or an oak too chewy?
Who came up all this transition to digital television anyway? What were they thinking!?
What store sells thinking caps? I just wore mine out.
© Copyright 2009 Suzzwords
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Unscientific Reasons Why M&Ms Are Good for You
“Watson, come here. I need you.”
“Ah, there you are. For today’s scientific analysis, we are going to examine M&Ms for their visual nutritional value.”
“Here, you take a handful of the green and blue M&Ms and I’ll take the yellow, orange and red.”
“Our experiment is to determine if the outer candy shell that protects the tasty inner chocolate has any relationship to actual healthy foods.”
“Watson, you go first. Taste a blue one.”
“What?! You ate ALL the blue ones already?! Okay, okay. What is your analysis?”
“Ah, so you believe the blue M&Ms are a visual reference to blueberries which we all know are high in antioxidants."
“Humm, interesting."
"Now I will taste the red, orange and yellow ... uumm, munch, munch ... M&Ms individually.”
“Maybe a handful would be better.”
“Ummm, why yes, Watson, they DO melt in my mouth.”
“Oh, right, back to the subject. Well, um, ah, let’s see. The red ones, now that could possibly remind us of cherries, and of course, the orange (By the way, what rhymes with “orange?”) and yellow ones make us think of citrus fruits. Conclusion, cherries and citrus are wholesome and nutritious.”
“Your turn again. What is your analysis of the green?”
“Brilliant, Watson! The connection between the green M&Ms to grass that is eaten by cows to produce milk which is a good source of calcium is now apparent.”
“All righty now, our experiment is complete for today. What shall we do with the remaining pound of M&Ms in this large bag?”
“Excellent suggestion, Watson. I say we get right to it.”
© Copyright 2009 Suzzwords
P.S. Check out what Wikipedia has to say about the nutritional value of chocolate.
“Ah, there you are. For today’s scientific analysis, we are going to examine M&Ms for their visual nutritional value.”
“Here, you take a handful of the green and blue M&Ms and I’ll take the yellow, orange and red.”
“Our experiment is to determine if the outer candy shell that protects the tasty inner chocolate has any relationship to actual healthy foods.”
“Watson, you go first. Taste a blue one.”
“What?! You ate ALL the blue ones already?! Okay, okay. What is your analysis?”
“Ah, so you believe the blue M&Ms are a visual reference to blueberries which we all know are high in antioxidants."
“Humm, interesting."
"Now I will taste the red, orange and yellow ... uumm, munch, munch ... M&Ms individually.”
“Maybe a handful would be better.”
“Ummm, why yes, Watson, they DO melt in my mouth.”
“Oh, right, back to the subject. Well, um, ah, let’s see. The red ones, now that could possibly remind us of cherries, and of course, the orange (By the way, what rhymes with “orange?”) and yellow ones make us think of citrus fruits. Conclusion, cherries and citrus are wholesome and nutritious.”
“Your turn again. What is your analysis of the green?”
“Brilliant, Watson! The connection between the green M&Ms to grass that is eaten by cows to produce milk which is a good source of calcium is now apparent.”
“All righty now, our experiment is complete for today. What shall we do with the remaining pound of M&Ms in this large bag?”
“Excellent suggestion, Watson. I say we get right to it.”
© Copyright 2009 Suzzwords
P.S. Check out what Wikipedia has to say about the nutritional value of chocolate.
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