Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Revenge of the Small Cars

Do you drive a small car? You know, the kind tall people have to fold into and short people love for the head room? Have you felt intimidated by the big, really big, luxury sedans, monster pickups, SUVs, and vans that come stalking up behind you on the expressway? Have you seen the smirky looks on the driver’s faces as they loom over you when passing?

Hahahahahaha, you big car drivers!

Who's laughing now? Instead of bragging about flip-down DVD players, fifteen cup holders, and fold-down seats to make an area large enough to transport a small elephant (not that anyone would want to), we small car drivers are filling up with regular gas and laughing all the way down the highway on our twenty-five plus M.P.G.

You probably bought your small car because it was what you could afford, lusting instead for a nice big roomy Ford Expedition or Cadillac Escalade. As of this writing, Motor Trend says the 2009 Escalade 2WD is priced at $55,640 to $60,610.

The Department of Energy’s report on that model Escalade, says it costs about $7.75 to go twenty-five miles! With a twenty-six gallon fuel tank, that’s over a hundred bucks to fill up with Premium (that’s P-R-E-M-I-U-M).

Lust not, small car drivers!

Can’t you just see us now toodling down the highway in our "economy cars?" We approach a big, fat, expensive monster going below the speed limit to conserve gas, we zip ahead in the passing lane, smirking and feeling superior for a change.

At the count of three us Honda, Toyota, Scion, Mazda, Hyundai, VW, and the other small car drivers, all together now, One, Two, Three: Hahahahahaha!!!!

P.S. If you are driving an alternate-fuel vehicle, laugh twice.

© Copyright 2008 Suzzwords


  1. Betty5:57 PM


  2. It was about time the monster sized vehicles fell out of favor.

  3. Anonymous9:31 PM

    Ha-Ha-Ha AND boo-hoo-hoo (It still costs almost $60 to fill up my economy car). Isn't it funny how quickly they have brought out the little electric cars?

  4. hahaha indeed!
    love it..

  5. I love my little Miss Ruby (a Pontiac Sunfire) and that she only drinks a tank per month unless I'm travelling makes her even more endearing!!