Saturday, March 01, 2008

Going “Green” My Way

I’ve come up with a wonderful way that I can contribute to health and safety of the environment this spring and summer growing season. I’m going to let my small yard “go back to nature.” I’m going “green.”

The neighbors might not be too keen on this idea, so I will just have to remind them of my quest for cleaner air, soil, and water.

Here’s the plan.

I’ll prevent toxic emissions from my gas-powered lawn mower from polluting the air, as well as extend the non-sustainable fuel supply. (I’ll quit mowing the grass.)

By eliminating the use of electric hedge clippers and electric grass edger, I’ll lower my consumption of electricity supplied by a coal-powered electric generating station. ( No clipee, no trimee.)

As the native plants (weeds) and trees (big weeds) take over, choking out all the flora and fauna I’ve planted over the years (no weeding), the rain water will be better filtered into the already diminishing FloridaAquifer. (Sounds like a darn good plan to me!)

To further preserve our precious water supply, I won’t water during the hot, dry summer months, further doing my part to conserve water. (This act alone should ease my guilt pangs over letting the faucet trickle while teeth brushing.)

I will forego all use of herbicides and pesticides in the yard, thus preventing toxic runoff into the storm drains. (But if those icky little critters crawl inside, they are goners, especially those big cockroaches that fly at you when sprayed with bug killer. They will be drowned in spray, then smashed with the bug spray can.)

I will post a sign in the front yard extolling my environmental awareness to all passersby that my yard is now an environmental paradise. However, if the cat next door thinks he’s going to leave a natural deposit, Kitty may disappear forever.

If you want to designate your yard an environmental paradise, I will be happy to make you a sign. Just send $499.99 for the sign and $29.95 for shipping and handling.

Hey, what’s with that face? I told you I was going “green.”

© Copyright 2008 Suzzwords


  1. You will be a hero to the "greenies" and your neighbors will be circulating a petition!!! Got to give you credit for creative thinking.

  2. Here in Atlanta we have no choice but to go "Brown" Even with winter rains our drought has not eased enough to lift the watering restrictions. I live in a town house community that has its own yard service so I just don't sweat it. I do hope for a rainy spring and summer.

  3. I love the sign idea. Be sure and put on the sign as well -- "In support of Al Gore..."

    It's not that I particularly like the idea but if enough of us do this maybe Al will begin to start wondering, "My God, I better go home and do something different with my yard."

    Do you think?

  4. Yep, you'd be 'going green' a jungle. Hey at least you'd be making the effort...more than what a lot of people are willing to do. Oh...and thanks for the offer of the sign...the price kinda made me green. Apart from doing my share by owning a Hybrid car, I guess I'll be staying whatever color I am.

  5. Sounds like a plan Suzz, go greenie.

  6. Have fun! And don't forget to add a Nader for Prez sign!!!! After all, je is the green party candidate.

  7. Goin' green sounds like a plan to me. I'm really going to have to give a lot, and I mean a lot, of thought to whether or not I want to order a sign from you though. Come to think of it, probably not, 'cause you'd be disappointed since my checks aren't green.

  8. next step: begin to post large signs in front of your less green neighbors' houses publicly chastising them for not doing their part

    then begin blackmail campaign - you can keep the whole block in fear and earn a pretty green penny while you're at it...