Tuesday, January 30, 2007

When a Woman Celebrity Goes On a Talk Show, Who Holds Her Purse?

Lately, I’ve been thinking about becoming a celebrity, but I’m not sure how all this “famous” business works. For example, when a woman goes on a talk show, who holds her purse? I’m sure she must need someone to watch out for the valuable stuff like credit cards, cash, expensive makeup, and jewelry. She can’t just leave her designer purse laying around in a “green room” or tossed on a table somewhere.

Celebrity women purses are not like the ones my friends and I carry around. Celebrity women have really good stuff, we ordinary women have purses full of tissues and grocery receipts. Our makeup comes off the hooks at K-Mart and our credit card has a spending limit of $200.

We ordinary women don’t carry jewelry in our purses because the gold will scratch off or the glue on the genuine, imitation diamonds and sapphires will break free.

Celebrity women must have “people” to carry big stuff that won’t fit into the teeny purses you occasionally see them with. It would be hard to stuff a full coupon organizer into a teeny purse. There’s just no room for disinfectant wipes, pair of pliers, and a squirt bottle of decongestant. Maybe celebrity women (or their kids or grandkids) don’t have to use a Wendy’s restroom or ever have stuffy noses.

Maybe I need to rethink becoming a celebrity just because of this purse business. I’m not sure all my Medicare and medical insurance cards would fit into a teeny purse and leave any room for adhesive bandages, aspirin, safety pins, lip balm, kids pictures, pet pictures, other family pictures, cell phone, calculator, tire gauge, and a ring of keys.

But then …… if I were a celebrity, I would have “people.” Now where the heck would I keep my “people?”

Well, I’ve just decided that being a celebrity is just too complicated so I’m going to Target to get a bigger purse!

© Copyright 2007 Suzzwords

6 comments:

  1. I guess I just wouldn't make the cut Suzz. My purse is way too big for celebrity status. I'd need a strong bodyguard just to hold my purse alone. Oh well, I'll just have to deal.

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  2. I like your final solution Suzz, (well a lot better than Hitlers anyway.)

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  3. p. mona7:23 AM

    Quit worrying about the little stuff. When you get to be a celebrity I'll hold your purse. So get hopping.

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  4. Hi Suzz,
    I read/heard somewhere once, that the Queen of England has someone just for that purpose, stands behind her to hold her bag when she needs them to..

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  5. Anonymous10:06 PM

    Better yet, wouldn't it be fun for the talk show host to have a game...reveal the contents of one's purse. And, Suzz, I know you and I know you also carry a tape measure in your purse (ha ha).

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  6. Sue Two8:25 AM

    Please don't let this deter you from a talk show gig! (But I wonder, who holds the purse of the person who holds your purse?)

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