Thursday, January 18, 2007

Big ‘ol Glasses Frames

What ever happened to those big ol’ eyeglasses frames of the 70s and 80s? You know the kind – they went from the top of your eyebrow to halfway down your cheek and from side to side. When glasses were still made of real glass and mounted in those babies, you almost fell forward from the weight. The plastic ones were only a tiny bit lighter, but came in fake tortoise shell and cool colors like royal blue and pink.

If you needed bifocals, the bifocally part was large enough to scan an entire page of the newspaper without bobbing your head. I always thought the “aviator” styles were quite handsome on men. My girl friends and I favored a more girly style and complimented each other on how cute we were.

For the last several years when I picked out frames, I had limited choices: teeny oval, teeny oval-ish and teeny oblong-ish. The biggest frame in the store was under an inch-and-a-half high, barely covering my eye socket. Look a teeny bit up, see frame; look straight ahead, see “out,” look a teeny bit down, oops, there’s the teeny bifocal. Without the frames, I think the lenses could be called “contacts.”

I asked if they had any frames that weren’t so “squinchy” and the glasses lady nearly fainted from horror. “Why, my dear, these are the latest styles.” Yikes. The latest styles do look cute on folks under twenty-five, but when the wrinkles start to creep in, we want as much camouflage as possible. If we’re just a teensy bit overweight by, oh, say, maybe ten or fifty pounds or so, we also want a pair of glasses in proportion to our face and figure. There’s nothing more silly looking than one of us … er, of generous proportions in a pair of those little squinchy glasses with frame arms so tight that they almost disappear into the generosity on the sides of our face.

So you frame manufacturers out there, supersize some of those frames, give us some color (I vote for red and leave off the rhinestones), and make us stylish again. Damn the squinch, full vision ahead! And don’t plan on charging more for the larger size. There’s plenty of us with a drawer full of obsolete prescriptions in huge frames and we can set up at the flea market faster than you can say “squinchy!”

© Copyright 2007 Suzzwords

5 comments:

  1. This was a fun post Suzz. My mother had many of those BIG frame glasses...some with tinted lenses. I had several pairs of sunglasses like that; but my kids they were outrageous and bought me a pair of what they consider more "in." Apparently they thought that poor mom just didn't have a clue as to how outdated she was. Did they ever think...."poor mom really didn't care....she liked those saucer-sized frames?" Nooooooooooo! I don't think so.

    ReplyDelete
  2. p. mona7:20 AM

    Sally Jesse Rafael really got the trend going with her big red frames. I still have mine, and until this last eye exam could get lenses to fit. Alas, I have been reduced to the "squency" frames..not glamorous. I am thinking of letting my hair grow and put it into a "rat" on the back of my head and look like my Grandmother.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Very timely post Suzz, I'm about to make an appointment for an eye test which I'm pretty sure will mean new glasses... now about that aviator style???
    Take in your old frames and have your new lenses fitted to them.

    ReplyDelete
  4. serene Ambition8:39 PM

    I remember some of those frames for guys...can hardly recognize me then. And of course there is the proverbial 'rose-colored' glasses which I am proposing we can wear happily into the great beyond as we create and transform the culture of aging from one of decline to one of possibility. All my life people have been saying 'be realistic'. Why?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi

    Can anyone help me to get hold of such glasses.
    My dear soon to be 84 year old aunt has broken her Big Ol red eyeglasses.
    Pls Google picture " mia berner"

    I wold be very happy if anyone could help us out.

    best regards berner@online.no

    Oslo, Norway

    ReplyDelete