Saturday, October 21, 2006

Before and After

Have you ever awakened at 2 a.m., flipped on the television to dull your senses to fall asleep again, and been subjected to the amazing “before and after” tales of how Betty Lou in Michigan and Bob in Alabama lost a zillion pounds in only twelve days?

Not only did Betty Lou and Bob loose all that weight, but they didn’t have to diet OR exercise, they just took this amazing pill. Two things the infomercial doesn’t tell you: what’s in the drug (newt’s eyes, snake sweat or perhaps powdered cave slime?) and that poor ol’ Betty Lou and Bob didn’t sleep during the twelve days of shedding all those unwanted pounds.

Betty Lou went from a size 98 down to a size two and feels wonderful. Bob now has lots of energy and can leap over automobiles from a standing position. Heck yeah, they feel wonderful. They’ve been high for the past twelve days!

Okay, here’s the part that I can’t figure out. If the people portrayed in the before and after shots lost all that weight, why are they wearing the same outfits in the “after” as in the “before,” and why don’t the “after” outfits fall off?

Could it be that the advertisers are exaggerating just a teensy bit?

We all know there’s only one way to loose weight. Not the most fun, but it won’t mess up your head as well as your cute, but pudgy body. As for me, I’m headed to the fridge for a large helping of ice cream. I’ll settle for the carrot sticks and cross my fingers that someday “they” will come up with a tasty Rocky Road with no calories or cholesterol. Humm, wonder how carrot sticks taste dipped in chocolate syrup?

© Copyright 2006 Suzzwords


  1. I sure have awakened at 2:00 am; but I have to be honest with you....I never turn the tv on....I usually go to my computer to read blogs, etc. Since I started blogging...that pretty much gets most of my attention.

    But I have seen those infomercials; and to be honest they kind of "ooog me out." Especially the ones you're talking about. I know there are people out there who will get on the phone and order those amazing "it will change your like in 10 days" products....but I'm not one of them. And believe me...the thought of losing a chunk of weight that fast is tempting...however, not worth the risk of any weird side effects. They never tell you about any of that of course. You're right SAZZ...there's only one good way to lose the pounds...and it hurts. That ice cream sounds pretty good right now. BTW...carrot sticks dipped in chocolate syrup....SUCKS!

  2. Jessie5:14 PM

    When you find that rocky road be sure to let us all know. I want to get some and also buy stock in the company that makes it!

  3. I think carrots would be loverly that way, Suzz! There isn't much in this world that doesn't go better with a dab of sweetness! :)

    As to informercials, I'm amazed that people actally "bite" on them. Just when I think I've seen and heard it all, some yutz goes and comes up with a new scam! lol

  4. oh dont! I am having such a problem at the moment with extra weight. I've always been a skinny-minny but not any more. And I just cannot find the motivation - or the enthusiasm for doing anything about it, except work at not feeling guilty! I think, I should be able to eat what I like, I just need more exercise...

  5. Anonymous7:41 PM

    I see why you were attracted to my ice cream/funeral post Suzz