Suzzwords: April 2009

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Ol’ Betsy

She was big, she was bold, she was beautiful. She was a 1966 Pontiac 2+2 coupe. One day, long ago, we went out on an unopened portion of an Interstate highway and as I held my foot down on the gas, she easily soared to 120 mph.

It was glorious as we flew over the concrete for a scant few seconds until my timid brain began screaming, "What the hell are you doing, you idiot, slow down!"

We slowed to a crawl and after I stopped shaking with exhilaration and terror, we turned around, went home and never confessed to "himself" what we had done. It was our secret.

A year later, he got custody of Ol' Betsy and I never saw her again.

I really, really missed Betsy.

April 27, 2009, 9:01 AM -- General Motors ... is killing the Pontiac brand (Wheels section of the The New York Times).

Sigh.

Betsy and I, we had a special bond. She's gone now, but I'll always remember that day.

Here's to you, kid.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Enough Already

Did a group (or groups) of people slip over the edge of sanity while I was out mowing the yard? I just ran across this web site for Extreme Grooming . Here are some photos from that page.

Extreme poodle grooming!? How can dog lovers actually do THIS to a proud breed descended from the hard-working German water retriever?

Ninja-Turtle

Cock-a-Poodle-Doo

Have our brains overloaded on the quest to compete and excel in anything, even it it’s stupid?

Here's an idea: Combine Extreme Poodle Grooming with Competitive Eating (Yes, Virginia, there is an International Federation of Competitive Eating . I didn’t believe it either.)

The poodle groomers compete first by seeing how many hot dogs they can swallow in three minutes, then present their extremely-groomed dogs.

Following the presentation, the dogs chase their presenters around the ring and be scored on how many nips they inflict on the presenters in five minutes. The groomers “win” by running off the gorged hot dogs and the idiotic-looking dogs "win" revenge.

Win-Win.

For those who have never seen a hot dog eating contest, here’s Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest 2008.

Their contestants' mothers must be so proud; their cardiologists horrified.