Monday, March 06, 2006

License to Email

I think there should be a test and then licensing for people to use their email! Maybe even pre-mailrital counseling with an instructor. Why? How many emails have you gotten with a least ten forwards and not one of those emailers knew how to use the delete key. My motto is if you have to scroll through more than four previous senders or a hundred-fifty names, it’s not worth reading!

There should also be a ban on those gushy emails that promise happiness at the end. You know the kind: Send this to five people and you will get your wish in twenty-six years, ten people and it’s only twelve years, and four-hundred and ninety-two and your wish instantly comes true.

I fell for that one, not once, but twice. It doesn’t work. My boobs are still not up where they once were and I’m not driving a shiny new Cadillac STS-V.

Has it been “Friendship Week” every week for the past three years? Who invented the custom of sending pictures of sunsets and babies to celebrate the event? Here’s the part that mystifies me. At the end, the email gives specific instructions to “pass this to your friends and send one back to me.” Is that like having to wear a porkchop around your neck to get the dog to play with you? I love my friends – couldn’t make it without them, so I try to let them know in ways other than threatening emails.

Well, that’s my rant for today. I just got an email that promises 1,526 bars of chocolate in only three weeks if I forward it to everyone in Siberia and I have to get busy.

© Copyright 2006 Suzzwords


  1. Anonymous9:18 AM

    This is really good. Wish I knew how to delete, but am toooo curious to see what it says, then I kick myself for wasting my time. Curiosity is our downfall.

  2. joared2:37 PM

    I just pass these by, I don't care where or who they come from ... generally. I surely don't pass them on. They use to come in letters in the snailmail, but, unfortunately, have gone high tech, too. You sure got it right on this one.

  3. Ellie9:11 PM

    Very good! So glad there are others who feel the same way as I feel. I, too, dislike these types of e-mails AND I know how to use my "delete" key, ha ha! Sorry if I offend people that send them.